Self-Examination…

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Self examination, belly-button gazing, whatever the term you choose for it, it’s hard, and often painful.

 

If you do this with sincerity, and intent to truly get to the heart of what matters to you, it’s going to reveal many dimensions of self-imposed bullshit. The lies we tell ourselves to feel better, to feel we truly are “doing all we can”.

 

I had to face this reality in my own life. I sort of painted a public image of how I wanted to be thought of. A small seed of truth, yes, but small … so, so, so small. The horrid thing is, the reality isn’t even all that bad. It’s not like I’m a horrible person. I don’t lie (often, and even then, they’re … small), I don’t hurt (intentionally), don’t steal, don’t break the law, don’t cheat … so, what the heck am I talking about?

 

Being a fraud, or at least feeling like one. I work with others, coaching them to break through their own barriers, repairing their broken self-images. Working with people to bust those limiting beliefs, and to rebuild their own vision of a life they truly want to live.

 

But, am I truly qualified to do this?

 

I still need to do much of this for myself. I admit that I’m not 100% there yet. It truly bothers me, and this warped sense of “truth and integrity” has held me back from reaching out to more people. I know I can help these people. But because I don’t feel I’m completely there yet, I hesitate. Growth is a painful process. When we outgrow our old skin, our fresh, pink newness is revealed for all to see. We shed the old. Sometimes our attachment to what we were, how people saw us, is held too closely. Even when it’s no longer serving us. Even when it’s a negative image. At one time it may have been great, but it’s not who we are anymore.

 

Here’s a little titbit for you. Incomplete people can do all sorts of things. And they know the power behind drive and determination. So, I’ve decided to take my in-completion, remove my fraudulent mask of competence and “arriving”, and get a lot more bold in declaring my offer. To use my determination. Even brashly allow others to see it.

 

This is what I do. I offer safe harbour to examine your fears, dreams, and test the boundaries. Are you good enough? What do you really want to achieve? How will your life and your business look in the next year? And do you know what? My shortcomings help me be better at my job because I know how terrifying they can be, how difficult it is to work through them, and how to get to the other side.

 

So, after posing so many questions I can only say that you are the only one qualified to give any answers to your questions. Only you. I am looking for my own answers.

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