Do you praise others or wait until you feel it’s “safe” to do so?
Huh? What the heck are you talking about (you’re probably thinking).
Here’s the thing. I love to compliment people whenever they do something nice, well, or simply make me feel good. I often get a surprised look and bashful “oh, thanks!” or “nah, I’m not that … (fill in the blank).
Love it when they thank me, I’m a teensy bit sad when they deny it.
Why are we so resistant to accepting praise. And I don’t really give a rat’s ass if you think someone ‘deserves’ it or not, I’m darned well going to let you know you look especially great today.
See, the trick is, don’t lie! If someone is looking tired, and more ragged than usual – you’re not going to fool anyone into believing you really think they look especially fetching. They will rightfully roll their eyes and think you’re after something and just buttering them up.
Instead of the praise & flattery here, try honest communication. Martha, you’re looking a bit tired today, is there something I can do to help you today? Then listen.
If they are simply not accustomed to hearing nice things said to them, (and don’t HEAP it on …), they’ll likely blush and mutter something. Trying to get the spotlight away from them.
The point here is that we’re more of a ‘tit-for-tat’ type of society, aren’t we?
Saying something nice to someone else just to let them know you really like that colour on them, or what a great job they do on a voluntary committee with you, (you get the picture) is also many don’t really think about sharing freely.
Don’t worry, there are enough a-holes around that will keep everyone’s inflated sense of grandeur under control.
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