WHY ACCOUNTABILITY COACHING IS NO LONGER MY “GO-TO” SERVICE
There was a period where accountability seemed to be King, and Queen in the coaching realm. You’d read this on everyone’s page as they tried to explain the benefits of coaching with them.
Something that will become more evident to many as time moves on is that …
1 – Coaching is something everyone can not only benefit from but, yup, I’ll say it …
2 – It’s almost impossible to describe what the coachee will gain from the relationship accurately.
Because of this, many of us have resorted to terms and descriptions that we hope will at least get people to call us and give our working relationship a try.
This is not desperation, lying, or misrepresentation in any way (unless you’re promised something that is not possible and then not delivered). There should be a disclaimer to every pitch though. Something along the lines of “results that one person gets is not guaranteed to be the results you get.”
In other words, every relationship is different, everyone gets different results, and a successful outcome can look very different with different people. Let’s face it; different people want different things.
So, what’s with getting away from the accountability in my practice? Everyone needs that right? Well, yes and no. You see, by taking on the mantle of providing “accountability” coaching, I’m now the boss of you. You’re paying me to nag you. To call you to the mat if you don’t do what you said you would do. There’s always a teensy bit of shaming in there as well. Hopefully not done by the coach, but felt by the coachee if goals and deadlines have not been met as planned.
When I promise to be your accountability coach, I take on the role of being responsible for you to do what you tell me you want to do. Do you see how that may not be good for you? Maybe what I should be doing instead is to help you discover what your actual problem is? Until you can name it you can’t deal with it. It will hide in so many subtle behaviours and look like so many other things.
Supporting my clients is to help them achieve a mindset that allows them to be responsible for their own accountability. I work with you to get clear on what it is that you want to achieve in our sessions. Where are your stumbling blocks tripping you up? We dive deep into your habitual actions to see if there may be something you need to work on before you can address losing that 20 pounds, or stopping the self-sabotage that you run into over, and over, and over again. The thing you are working to overcome could be anything. I’ve only named a couple of examples because I couldn’t name each and simplified the whole process greatly here.
Not addressing the reasons you keep failing is one of the biggest reasons people relapse into old and negative behaviour and continue to fail. They haven’t cut out the root of the problem.
So if you want accountability, you bet, I can offer some, but it won’t be what we’ll be focusing on. Our work together will be to help you understand who you are, what you want and what is your best way of getting there. I help people build their own systems, their own processes so that when you need to do it again, it’s a whole lot easier.
*Disclaimer: You may find that you need to work with a coach to address multiple issues and challenges. After a while, you should be getting the hang of dealing with these on your own. However, some people have found that they move through the crappy stuff that much faster and easier when working with a coach. This way, they can apply their genius to the stuff they do best. After all, Olympic athletes and pros must be on to something. Remember though, In all ways and at all times, you are in that driver’s seat.
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